I watched "An education" today. It was such a simple a sweet movie, predictable but sweet. And remineded me the time when I was so eager to go abroad to study...and my parents could not afford it. When I was a teen and in my early 20s I promised myself that if I had a kid I was going to save to send him/her to study abroad and encourage him/her to volunteer somewhere. Nothing of that happened or will happen but I still dream to go to study abroad. The University of Malmo seems like a good place, I need to look further but the master I like was in English and it's free. Wish I could go back in time and tell my parents to save for me or try a scholarship in my teens before life got me in this path.

I am not as bored as before but still counting the days to go home. Tomorrow I'll go out at night and then some of my coworkers want to do something Sunday afternoon.

weird thing: yesterday and today i looked through the window and as the buolding in front of the hotel has lots of windows too our windows are reflected there. so yesterday I was looking the street and a reflection got my attention. a woman sitting in front of a computer, all alone..just as I was doing every night in here. at first I thought wow that's my window..then realized that it was obviously not because I was standing by the window but it was like looking at me these past weeks. weird...and creepy.


here's Alex hanging our in LA. I so love him in a natural situation.


and here are the lists

( lists )

It is said chocolate replaces sex...not true but I am doing my best. I swore not to eat chocolate ths week. And what am I doing? After dinner -2 toasts and cofffe and milk- I am eating a fucking Snickers. From the hotel. And yesterday ate junk food all day. McDonalds and beer. Today fish and chips and 2 beers in an Irish bar, that didn't have Guiness...and that's the second in the city damn, I went with two friends. I so hope that nobody wants to go out this week. Because it's also almost that time of the month so I look like a balloon. Really. Boobs are the size of melons. Too bad I wasn't born in 2500 or something like that. In a future where you can do whatever you want with your body without risking your life or costing too much money. And painless. I would donate my boobs to someone that needs or wants them. And I am sober. Just if you were wondering.
I am bored. and boring too, but that's another topic. i don't know. I was doing so well in here. Now I just want to go back home. Nothing happened I just want to go back.
I got the raise, I got the editing job, I was told I am going to work in here probably during the football/soccer World Cup, my coworker's demands were accepted too. There's nothing wrong. And still.
Why I am so complicated???
My friend finally adopted a boy!!!! I am so happy for her, I cried for half an hour with the email she sent telling about the first week with her son in the house.
And told us about a new man she has. And that was where I felt jealous and ashamed of being jealous. Because I don't want a relationship but at the same time I do. But I can't do it. I can't even have one night stands anymore. A nun is probably having more sex than I do. That's pathetic. And going back is not going to help in the men department at all. they are all jerks back there.

I need a goal. I was thinking on losing weight seriously. meaning no more sweets and lots of exercise from now until I go on vacations in May. If I get the loan I am going to ask for next week. If I am right my shift will start in the afternoon so I will have all morning to exercise and go to any class I want to take. weekends to visit family and friends and read. night to watch movies. Yes, I know. I sound like if I suffered from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Well...I think I do..Kind of. Do you know I decided to watch all the movies I have in alphabetical order? Didn't do it at the end but the ones at home are all by alphabetic order. Creepy.
Going back on topic. I need to achieve that goal. I have appointments with an endocrinologyst and a nutritionist specialized in diabetes in March, my doc sent me urgently. So I wil probably get more help there.

sighs...sorry the rant about very important things..*insert sarcasm here*

I watched "The Hurt Locker" today. It has to win an Oscar. It's so awesome. and Jeremy Renner was excellent. Please Hollywood, give the award to who really deserves it...Bigelow, even though I am sure the ones that vote don't want to see a woman winning, or the ones in charge of the special effects of the blue people *yes, avatar, i am looking at you*. Cameron doesn't deserve it. Avatar is a mix of other movies and books, not very original. Locker at least deals with something important and from nowadays.
Oh....and I watched the first season of "Merlin"....and it was ok. not my favorite as I thought it was going to be.  I don't like when history (or legends ok) is changed that much. Morder a druid kid?? c'mon. But Arthur is made of yummmm. LOL

here are the lists

( lists )

I am going to the movies in a while with two friends from here. And another called me today to go out and have a beer today. That made me think about how loved I am and how blessed I am.  And made me think also that sometimes I take it for granted. I don't know why I thought about that today, maybe because I finished a book about a man that hides from the world from more than a decade. He sounds so like me.  The other day another guy, one of the translators with whom I get along very well, called me and we talked like an hour. I don't know. I always feel that face to face I am a boring person but people like me. And how many times I called them? None. I don't know how what to think. Because I like them a lot. And I care. But sometimes it feels like why I am going to call them, to bore them? I better stay here reading or go to the movies alone. I don;t know. I don't know how to explain exactly what I felt.
Anyway, let's see something much much better.
Alex at the Sag Awards

sighs...he is so sexy...more here... justjared.buzznet.com/2010/01/24/alexander-skarsgard-sag-awards-2010-red-carpet/#more-540933

( lists )

Just singing...I am sleepy but wanted to spam you. My leg is being a pain in the back. I guess is too hot here. need to move to a colder place. forever.

I just learnt that Keira Knightly's boyfriend is Rupert Friend.....they proablly hooked up while filmming Pride and Prejudice but I didn't place him til now after watching The Young Victoria.....some women have luck.

Click click click to help Haiti, it's just that easy  www.care2.com/click-to-donate/haiti/

Wish I had the money... www.worldwildlife.org/travel/2010/Arctic/WWFTrip-2010-Norway-Scotland-Iceland-cruise.html

Good interview entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6979609.ece

Good interview II  entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/stage/comedy/article6986612.ece

About time...www.nytimes.com/2010/01/20/world/europe/20lemonde.html

Sometimes I want to go too, sometimes I don't... www.observer.com/2010/media/covering-quake

LOL...let's try and prove it ..outside.away.com/outside/bodywork/201001/hangover-remedy-exercise.html

Interesting...but just 10 minutes?? outside.away.com/outside/bodywork/201001/10-minute-fitness-hip-thrust.html

I will go one day....www.indiewire.com/article/into_the_future_anticipating_the_good_and_bad_of_sundance_2010/pem

ooooooohhhhh yes!!! Burton and Sleeping Beauty!! www.aintitcool.com/node/43678

We are the savvy ones LOL sacramento.dbusinessnews.com/viewnews.php

Could be interesting www.miamiherald.com/entertainment/movies/AP/story/1437530.html

Foreing movies www.theage.com.au/articles/2009/11/04/1257247657367.html

But if we don't go, how can we gather experience?? www.nytimes.com/2009/11/30/business/media/30somalia.html

:( www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/jan/05/governments-urged-do-more-media-killings

Interesting III entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6923785.ece

I think I am ready to follow her advice. I have done it this month, I am here, and going out a lot and will go to see Metallica in concert next week. Meaning, I am interacting with people. Yesterday went to two dinners and today to another one where I knew just one person. That's something!
I am planning on going to the movies, going out again and doing some tourist stuff.
I feel good and happy!! Wish I could stay here.
ok this is her advice

Glee star Dianna Agron is adding writer to her resume - after selling her first movie screenplay.

The 23-year-old actress, who got her big break in the Golden Globe-winning musical series, admits she's on a lucky streak after finding success with her first screenwriting venture.

She says, "Once a month, try something you don't think you'd be good at. You can find such happy surprises. Recently, I got the confidence to write a screenplay - a story about a guy who can't say 'I love you' - and it's been optioned!

"The challenge is getting off your couch and doing it, making the conscious decision to put your (ideas) into motion. You can always find a reason not to try. But unless you become fully invested, you'll never know what could happen."

I have three stories to develop, one of them as a comic, not sure about the other two, I am sure one it is supposed to be a novel (damn, I can't remember the third one! but I am sure I wrote the plot somewhere). I promise myself I will start writing them as soon as I get home..or maybe here, it depends.

I've seen cute guys here, and some of them helped my ego. Yes! Men still look at me...at least here..and some said nice things! I definitely have to move here LOL

I like two guys, one from work and another one from the bureau...but it's just that hehe.

And I am NOT liking at all all the rumors of him dating KB. He wouldn't say no I am single and then make out in the middle of a crowded room at the Golden Globes party. c'mon.

have to go to sleep or tomorrow won't be up early to work out...yes, you read that.

( lists )

 

 

My goodness.



that suit...more here justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2408889/alexander-skarsgard-camilla-belle-art-of-elysium-02/

and tonight the Golden Glones!!! means more Alex!!

I am in Chile, yay!!, and behaving LOL. will be here until Feb 8th.
Brought some movies and books, but will go out with friends too.

Watched "Sherlock Holmes" on Friday. it was ok. not a blockbuster. Love RDJ!!! not Jude Law this time. And Ritchie has to limit himself with his "ritchie things"..too much slow motion etc

Ok, have to go. I am eating a chocolate, I hate that from hotels and me being this weak, so I need to work out a bit and then I'll be out.
Hugs!

I didn´t get the job. And I am crying, I feel like a loser and an idiot for thinking that I could do it. And I know I am good. But that is not helpful right now. I HATE HATE HATE THIS.

* I just ate this and I feel a bit guilty....though I am about to do the steps and pilates routine.

* I feel better, thanks ladies, you rock!

* Working out for an hour yesterday helped too. Hope I can do it every day from now on, at least half an hour. Elle was right! LOL

* Today I was in the bus, it was sooo hot, I was panting because I had to run to take it and a guy hopped on after me. I sat down in the back of the bus, and the guy in the middle of it. He went to his seat like dancing and it was funny because you could see he was happy, so I smiled. And he smiled back. Then he looked at me and asked "are you going to the community?" (no idea what he was talking about, probably he made it up). "No", I replied. "Oh...you know, you can come and sit here if you like", he said. We were only three people in the bus. I smiled again, thanked him and said no. And he said "I can go and sit there with you if you want". I couldn´t believe my ears. Because he was not being an idiot. He was so nice. But I said "no, no, thanks". It was so good for my ego and my spirit. I don´t know if he was high, flirting or just being nice but it was funny and good. Obviously after that I started to think what if I just lost an opportunity to meet a great person?  The horoscope said I am meant to know extraordinary people this week and to plan a trip. I think I might have lost one of the extraordinary people (hey, I know, he could be a serial killer too) and the trip starts on Saturday when I have to fly to Chile for three weeks.

*I didn´t like my presents for Christmas, except the one my brother gave me (a music system, not sure if that is correct). my mom gave me a table cloth and a ring and earrings that are horrible. and my grandmother gave me slippers..in animal print!!! yikes...and we have agreed, at least I said some months ago that it´s better if they only give me chocolate or books. nothing else because except for my brother the others never get what I like. So today I took the Wise Men Day presents. Yeah, I am more than 30 years old but as they keep the tradition I feel like I have to give them something too. So for my mom I bought a great calender with pics of New Zeland, she loved it. For my dad a book and a perfume (I won that one so it doesn´t count, and I didn´t like it after he opened it). For my brother a book and for my grandmother Dutch cookies. Everyone liked everything. My brother gave me a CD (Keane). And my mom bought a shirt..in white. I don´t wear white! She never ever ever saw me wearing white. Why on Earth did she buy white?? So I told her sorry but I am not going to wear that and I am trying to donate or sell all the things I don´t wear so I can make room in the closet. Keep it, I don´t want it, I already told you you never get the presents. I saw she was sad and frustrated, but she hasn´t learn with me using a nice tone, well it´s time for the ugly truth. We agreed I am going to buy some underwear for the trip and that will be the gift. And I didn´t feel bad saying it. Good!

* I told my parents about me applying for the job abroad. Thank goodness they didn´t seem freak out.

* Alex went to a party last night. Someone HAS to throw those shirts away quickly! It was a party for Marion Cotilliard, in the pic.
here´s a huge pic twitpic.com/xkig8/full

* Interesting internship at National Geographic, wish I could do it careers.ngs.org:8291/psp/jobspa/EMPLOYEE/HRMS/c/HRS_HRAM.HRS_CE.GBL

* Hey U.S. Army...free speech rights..have you heard of that? www.truthout.org/article/army-imprisons-soldier-singing-against-stop-loss-policy

* Good web site womenandhollywood.com/

* I wonder...has anyone asked if there are male directors? Or just because she doesn´t make chick lit she has to be categorized? www.indiewire.com/article/for_your_consideration_is_kathryn_bigelow_a_female_director/pem

* I am falling asleep so no movies or books for me today, just the work out, shower and bed. and dinner of course, yogurt and fruits.

Well, wasn´t expecting feeling like this so early in the year but can´t help it.
The last straw in my attitude was buying a book to lose weight. another one. like the ones I have and tried are not enough. and going to the nutritionist is not enough. I just had to do it. why? because I am an idiot and feel like a loser. I hear "fat, fat, fat, cow, cow, cow" several times a day in my head when I feel like this. "you won´t have sex ever again, who would like you, look at you please, you look like a whale" are very common too. it´s exhausting. here, my head feels like this...though the ad is funny and brings a smile to my face every time I watch it.
(the bird says "the supervisor you like is married, the supervisor you like is married, the supervisor you like is married, you look like your mother, you look like your mother, you look more like your mother, everything is going down, everything is going down (as in her body) , everything falls, everything, everything falls, you´re 32 and still without a boyfriend, you´re 32 and still without a boyfriend, without a boyfriend, you should have definitive waxing, you should have definitive waxing, get a boob job and go to Buzios, get a boob job and go to Buzios, Buzios, you have another gray hair, you have another gray hair, another gray hair, another gray hair, go back to your tree, go back to your tree. to the tree? am I free? I am free, I am freeeee) LMAO


I was feeling annoyed when I bought it, plus I haven´t received the links to download the book and that scream "fraud!", and then I went to a web site about women in Africa. And felt like shit. Because there is a campaing and I just spent 25 dollars in a stupid book instead of donating for someone that really needs it. I hate myself.
And yesterday and today bought two books that i really really wanted (one about Gypsis written by Martin Amis´wife Isabel Fonseca, and the other one by Guillermo del Toro) but that I didn´t need. And I have almost 200 books to read at home.
I can´t make my mind to work properly and in a positive way. I did it last year, and it was my purpose for this one. I don´t know, maybe is the monthly visit or my anxiety about the other job. And I am going abroad next week to work with the editors....looking like Moby Dick. All of them are into sports because our boss is an anorexic freak always asking if you exercise or what you eat. I guess most of them must feel like in The Devil wears Prada.
I just hope this lasts some more days and then I get over it. because it´s lame.

ok, stop with the negative.
here´s something that could help (if my mind were not in silly mode of "a guy like him would never ever ever look at you, except for asking directions or your hot friend´s name")

That´s Alex watching Apocalypse Man with the Generation Kill guys. awww I want to be on the floor too LOL. thanks to John Huertas for the pic. We need more pics hun LOL

so...I feel weird, kind of sad. Maybe it´s anxiety, it probably is. I went to the homepathy to treat that and the liquid retention, it´s working for the second one. not much for the first one. or maybe it´s because I am taking the pill and that means more hormons which my body is not used to. I don´t know, in any case, crying because I feel I will be alone (read without a man) forever hasn´t happened in a while, until yesterday night and I don´t like it. at all. I don´t cry over men anymore. period. listen to that silly heart. there are other things to cry over in the world. like this, is so heartbreaking. There are millions like her. *thinks the world should be destroyed, or at least almost all men*, please donate if you can at least 5 bucks. thank you!
awwproject.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/i-am-for-sale-who-will-buy-me/
Really, I know it sounds like nazi, but I would kill them all. Men, I mean, and when they mix their genetic idiocy with religion is even worse.

Now, better things.
New pics of Alex and tonight the GK guys will watch a movie together and there will be pics, thanks to Mr. John Huertas, you have to love the man!
remind me of not reading any other saga where the main female character is beautiful but with low self esteem but all the guys fell for her. I am sick of those characters. really, they repeat themselves.
Remember "I don´t speak car and driver"....well one part of "Stargazer": "Balthazar smiled, satisfied. "Actually, the last car I owned was a red 1968 Mustang GT 390 Fastback". I had no idea what that meant, but Lucas did. His expression shifted from disdain into envy, and then to a grudging respect. "Sweet". Guys, I thought."
OH FOR CRISSAKE!!! who doesn´t know what a Mustang is! give me a break, why do those all YA writers want to show women like dumb shallow sexist people that never heard the name of a car?!!! they annoy me.
have 2 new cds. here are the list

( lists )

Well, batman has gone apparently. And I don't feel like working, good that the gov hasn't published inflation yet LOL
Nothing new to tell, still early to heard about the position I applied to abroad. Just talked to my boss and we still haven't decided on schedules so I don't know if I am going to take the offer of my current job.
Alex is still MIA heheheh, I don't know if I prefer him being followed by papparazzis or not. I am sleepy. And just found "Lie to me" LOL. It's so hot!! I would be a the beach if I were on vacations...or thinner. 
Ok, time to spam you and then the list from 2009. this year the goal is 100 books and 100 movies. plus new music.

Wow..best sunsets current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/2009/09/readers_best_sunsets.html

Nice read ajr.org/Article.asp

They are the best blogs.indiewire.com/thompsononhollywood/2010/01/02/gaimans_stauesque_stars_nighy/pem

Most beautiful castles..wish I could visit them all www.budgettravel.com/bt-dyn/content/article/2008/12/31/AR2008123101788.html

Hawaii, wish I could go too. it's beautiful...and there are surfers! LOL current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/2009/10/readers_best_hawaii_photos.html

Let's pray for that! www.schoollibraryjournal.com/article/CA6712772.html

Inglorious basterds worst? are you serious? and they are paid for writing that? entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6884281.ece
( lists 2009 )

( lists )
( lists 2010 )

laugh....I was saving some True Blood icons that make fun of Twilight...when there was some noise in the dining room, I stood up and went to check when a thing with wings came right at me..holy shit Batman!!! is that a bird? no, birds don´t go out at night right? and can´t be those horrible night butterflies that I hate...it was a bat, I am sure. there was an open window in the kitchen. I froze for a second, I am a coward, and the thing came back at me again so I ran...to the bathroon....where the window is very small, where there was nothing to help me beat the thing....and the thing came straight to the small window the door has..like 10 times. jesus. and I didn´t have my cell phone either..cause it is 4 am!!! so I stood in the bathroom panicking and giggling at the same time. heard the thing flying in here and then stopped. but I stayed in the bathroom like 10 more minutes until I was sure there was no noise. took a towel and went out. nothing flying. went to my bedroom and grabbed a poison thing for bugs. went to the kitchen and took a broom. and started searching the apartment. found nothing, turned all the light on. nothing. so I guess I should go to bed now.....but there is no door in my bedroom. the closet is closed and I am in the computer room and there is nothing. checked my bedroom too, moved several things where it can be hidden and nothing. but what if it is still here???
wouldn´t have any problems if it was Eric LOL.....but this is a real bat. I am freaking out. please I need the sun now!

I also want to walk around and see what there is to see out there in 2010. I have the feeling things will change this year. I didn´t make a resolution in the wee hours of the 2010 becasue New Year´s Eve didn´t started very well. had an argument with my father, but we were ok at night and were good on the 1st. I know I am a difficult person. I will try to change that, or at least keep my mouth shut and let everyone think they are right. That´s the main resolution of the year.
I thought about them yesterday night. The others one are: being happy, find and do things that make ME happy, and lose weight but now is mandatory since doctors found insulinemia, meaning my body produces more insulin than it can absorb, and that´s the cause my body is very very slow to lose weight.
I am sure my mother will be very sad if I get the job abroad, well, all my family but even though I don´t get along very well with her it´s the one I feel I am going to miss the most, my brother tries but I am the one that builds walls. But I know it will be the best for me, leaving here and trying other things on my own. I need that.
Anyway, I discovered the singer above thanks to my brother, and watched "Lords of Dogtwon" yesterday..I can´t describe what I felt. it was weird, but good( list )( list )

I know 2010 will be awesome for everybody! Happy New Year! you made my year much much better. hugs!!

And this was perfect for it. I am not in good spirits and I am too anxious but have to wait til January, don´t know exactly when, to know if I got a job in a rival agency. I applied some weeks ago, took a test and they were very happy about it. the editor called me and then the friend that recommended me received a similar call. I haven´t told my family yet, not even that I applied. Because the job in in Mexico. My mom will freak out. Sighs. But I want it. and need it. We´ll see. Let´s enjoy this instead, it´s so funny.

feliz cumple nyaza !!!! mi regalito es chiquito...no, no es el de la torta jejej....que tengas un lindo día!

Thank you cicci1000 for the beautiful snowflake!!!! and thanks everyone for the birthday wishes.

Why the subject, you´re wondering. Well, I am on vacations. Vacations to me means doing NOTHING, just reading and watching movies. Except when I go abroad or go to the beach in the summer for a few days (not happening this summer because a) I won´t have any money, b) will be in Chile from January 15th to February 5th, c) I don´t want anybody to call Greenpeace thinking there is a whale stranded on the beach). So when I said ´hey I´ll be on vacations´everyone started making plans and inviting me to come over...and I DON´T WANT TO.

People, c´mon, like if you didn´t know me. I need these days to relax, do my things (I have a lot of things to do that I can´t do during the week when I work) I don´t want to be stressed out about lunches, and parties, and buses to go to their houses. In one hand I feel loved and blessed, but in the other hand I feel like it is mandatory to please all of them and that pisses me off. badly. because if I say no they look at me like hurt. Hey, it´s not my fault that most of you have kids or are married and you can´t go anywhere without making tons of arrangements. It´s your life, what you chose. I chose to be independent and do what I want. And that means not dealing with kids or husbands. If I go to a friend´s I don´t want to be interrupted 500000000 times by a screaming kid. Yes, I am selfish. And I don´t give a damn anymore. So I won´t go to a friend´s on Monday because I can´t deal with her kid, I won´t go to an art gallery on Wednesday (though the owner and his couple are so interesting that maybe I´ll go, they were both in my French class and they are adorable) and I won´t go on Saturday to a dinner party because I don´t feel comfortable in a place where I know just two people. All that means buses, hours away from home, hours stressed out. And they are my fucking vacations!!!!!

But I still feel like a bad person. Grrr. And I will probably lie to some of them and tell them I am going to the beach so they back off.

The list of thing I want to do is long and I just realized I have only one week left. Where did this one go? So unfair!!!
I need to lose at least 2 pounds by Wednesday, go to the tattoo thing (I can´t decide what I want, the Celtic triquetra that´s for sure , and then I am torn between a Chinese dragon and the Egyptian symbol of eternal life, Ankh ), go into a shopping spree because I need clothes and sandals, have some blood test taken, go to a homeopathy appointment, go to the dentist, go to change some books, read read read, watch movies and series..and I think that is it. If I don´t do all this now I won´t do it until God knows when. So, sorry, it´s time for me. By the way, this is the last year I buy the birthday presents. Not only I have to think about the presents but also my friends don´t pay me right away. I just collected the money from some presents I bought in September. And I have to buy two more tomorrow. Enough. Why do I have to do everything???

And I am so bloated that I hate the world even more than I do in a daily basis. Really, my boobs are the size of melons. Hate hate hate them. Why can´t we donate boobs? I would gladly donate both. Me being like this, plus a week from my period and the anxiety I had the past two weeks resulted in SIX F*ING POUNDS IN A WEEK AND A HALF. I am such a loser. Six pounds!!!!! I hate my body so much that I don´t have words to describe it.

I just need to go to the homeopathy and take pills, I would take 200 if they make all the thoughts about food and myself go away, plus more pills for the effiging liquid retention.

Oh, I talked to my boss. Asked for a new job or a rise, they said they had to see where they were going to find the money for one of the two. So no news yet. But there are two openings in the competition. Editing and translating, exactly what I want to do. In Mexico, not my favorite place but I don´t care..much.

And I need to relax. And be myself. And stop pleasing everybody. And enjoy my vacations!!

Will do that from Friday on. And the world can go to Hell.

Yes!!! Uruguay made it!!!! it was a tie 1-1 but Uruguay won the first match.
we went in 2002 and before that in 1990, it was something everybody was expecting, so happy about it!! they match was not good and they will probably be sent home after the first round but I don´t care!! Maybe I am lucky enough and go to cover their matches!!!!

An image is better than thousand words or whatever the saying is.....I feel like a craddle robber or Demi LOL

and I want this DVD..hope all this is in the regular one and not the blu-ray one